I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
