Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
