Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
