the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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