His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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