so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
