I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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