Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
