Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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