Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
