You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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