why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
