im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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