They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The air was thick with penises
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
