mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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