there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
How does it feel to date your dad?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
