the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Semen is not good for contacts.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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