I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
