trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize