You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
