Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
