You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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