I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
