we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
