Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I enjoy the company of your penis
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
