so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Girls should come with a carfax report
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
