I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
