i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
i think my cat just said my name.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
