She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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