It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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