what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You can't motorboat a personality
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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