I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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