Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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