so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
