best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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