I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My vagina just recognized that song.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize