I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Did I show you my penis last night?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
