i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Can I color on your dick again?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
