i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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