I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Let's paint friendship bongs
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
