Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
