i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
