Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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