I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
