You made me cry and you don't even care
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
