Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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