If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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