Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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