And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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