it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
