I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
