I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
