Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
