Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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