plz talk dirty to me
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
