Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
