So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
