Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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