I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
