I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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