what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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