Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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