It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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