i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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