Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
