Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
