Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
