Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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