your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
