is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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