I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
