he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
