At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
