What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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