how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
