I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
