even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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